


Forgive Me if I Stumble and Fall

by bad_seed



Category: Menendez
Genre: Awkward First Times, Boys In Love, Brother's Best Friend, College Student/High School Kid, Coming Out, Don't Like Don't Read, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Forbidden Love, Gay, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jealousy, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, M/M, Making Out, Older Man/Younger Man, Out of Character, Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, Smut, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bad_seed/pseuds/bad_seed
Summary: "Forgive me if I stumble and fall, for I know not how to love too well. I am clumsy and my words do not form as I wish. So let me kiss you instead and let my lips paint for you all the pictures that my clumsy heart cannot."-Atticus





	1. Chapter 1

Cold. Surprisingly cold for a winter night in Calabasas. The kind of cold that made Erik tuck away under mountains of fuzzy blankets to catch even the taste of what warmth was. As a Jersey boy, one would think the chilly red whisper on the tip of his nose would bring a sense of home, of nostalgia. Instead, the sensation rattled his bones and caused his blood to crystallize.  
He whimpered in vexation at his inability to sleep, the many blankets being tugged closer to his tanned neck. It had gotten so late in the night, Erik had given up any hope of sleeping, knowing even if he could, it wouldn't be for long as he would be woken so soon by the sound of his mother's fist on the wooden door isolating him from the mansion. He curled his long legs closer into his chest, a pillow tucked between his thighs as their uncomfortable rubbing was just making the hours feel like years.  
December 16th, 1987. The day before his older brother, Lyle, would be flying home on his winter break from Princeton, New Jersey. Erik had been looking forward to this day for months, the idea of safety without Lyle long gone in the seventeen-year-old's brain. Safety without Lyle wasn't safety at all. It was a death sentence, he thought. Though no matter how much Erik had begged and cried for Lyle not to leave him alone, Lyle gave him a chuckle and ruffled his curls. "You'll be fine," he had told Erik, completely oblivious as to what would happen as soon as he left.  
Erik speaks with Lyle often. His older brother had always told him he was just a phone call away and he should never be shy to ring. Erik may be abusing those words as he calls Lyle every night. It's alright though. Lyle answers every time with a bright voice that lights up Erik's day. He always makes time for his little brother. Lyle frequently brings up his roommate, the name having stuck with Erik as he has heard it so much. A few hours prior to now was no exception.  
"Hey, bud," Lyle answered almost immediately in that same soft, yet cheery voice he always spoke to Erik in, not even needing to ask who was calling.  
"Hi," Erik whispered though Lyle could hear the sudden smile in his voice, practically being able to feel his younger brother's deep dimples under his fingertips.  
"I fly out pretty early tomorrow," Lyle chuckled as he tapped his black ballpoint pen on the notebook of thinly lined paper he had placed on his desk. He left small dots where the pen landed, too focused on this fresh conversation to care.  
"I-I know.." Erik stuttered breathlessly, leaning his bare back against the wall where he had seated himself under the own window. "When are you here till?"  
"January sixth. Are you excited?" Lyle smiled softly, gently kicking his feet up on to the desk.  
"Beyond excited...I miss you," Erik mumbled and looked down at the navy blue shorts that shone a sharp contrast between his thighs and the color. He fidgeted with the hem, doing what he could to contain his emotions.  
"I miss you too, kid...I miss you too..." Lyle sighed sadly, his fingers running through his black hair. "I have a surprise though."  
"Lyle, you know I hate surprises," the younger of the two whined, kicking his feet lightly though he knew Lyle couldn't see him.  
"How would you feel if I brought someone with me?"  
"...brought someone? Like a girlfriend?"  
"No, no. Donovan has never met any of you, so.. why not?" Lyle shrugged from where he sat.  
"Oh... yeah, that's fine," Erik gulped.  
Donovan Goodreau. Tall, muscular, handsome, and from what Erik has heard, a total cheat. He had listened to horror stories about the way Goodreau would lure girls in, make them feel as though they were the one for him, only be doing it to two other girls at the same time. How somebody could obtain such joy from hurting the unsuspecting was beyond him and made Erik's insides burn at the thought of Donovan practically living in his house for the next three weeks.  
It took everything in Erik to push those rumors to the side and attempt to think of the twenty-year-old the way he was described by Lyle. He was Lyle's best friend. Donovan Goodreau to Lyle was supposedly like Craig Cignarelli to Erik. Though Erik found that hard to believe with how close he and Craig were to the point where it was a surprise Craig wasn't currently in his bed, asleep right next to him.  
Donovan was going to be in his house tomorrow, in his own, personal space. Erik made his decision now. He would not be warm to him, he would not be friendly or inviting as it would just set him up for trouble. He were to be civil if they passed one another, but to otherwise act as though he himself did not exist, hide himself away in his room if he must. It was his house, his territory, the thought of having someone new had never made Erik quite as anxious as he was now. Maybe the stories he had heard had clouded his vision so his brain only saw an intruder.

Kitty's angry fist threatening to bust his door in snapped Erik from his thoughts and he was quick sit up, spine stiff in shock. Glassy blue eyes darted around the large bedroom, focusing in on the streams of hazy sunlight pushing through his curtains which swayed in the gentle breeze. How could he have been so stupid to leave his window open? He was complaining about being cold. With a heavy sigh, Erik shoved the blankets down his legs and got out of bed, stretching his arms over his head. He shivered at the many pops in his spine and shoulders, not realizing just how uncomfortably he laid there.  
He dragged his feet as he made his way into his closet, snatching up what he decided on wearing that day, a simple white sweatshirt with his white tennis shorts. Erik shuffled into his bathroom and clicked the lock on the door, bending over next to the shower to turn the water on. He stripped off what he wore to bed as he waited for the water to heat up, avoiding absolutely any eye contact with the reflection in the mirror hung on the wall above the sink.  
Eight in the morning. He had a little over an hour to put himself together before Lyle would be arriving with Donovan. He wasted the majority of his time in the shower thinking of who this Donovan guy really was. If he had played so many girls, was he playing Lyle? Were they actually friends or was Donovan lying? Anger boiled in his bloodstream at the thought of someone using his older brother in such a way. In a way that was meant to hurt him, to humiliate him. Erik was all to familiar with the feeling of being humiliated, the last thing he would ever ask for is Lyle to go through the same thing. He quite roughly shut off the flow of the water, knowing the longer he stood under its warmth, the angrier he would become.  
Once Erik had dressed himself and fixed his curls, he brushed his teeth and made his way down the stairs, cringing as the wood creaked under his weight. He kept his head down as he walked into the kitchen, freezing as he bumped into the chest of a man he prayed not to be his father.  
"S-sorry..." he stuttered, keeping his eyes on the tile floor as he fidgeted with his fingers.  
"You should be," Erik could hear the smirk in an all too familiar voice. His head shot up with a soft gasp, immediately breaking into a smile.  
"Lyle!" Erik squeaked excitedly, jumping on his older brother to wrap his arms around his neck. Lyle's own arms tightly embraced Erik's waist, holding the younger close to his body with all the strength he could muster.  
"I've missed you," Lyle mumbled in his ear, placing a soft kiss to the side of his head.  
"I missed you more," Erik's cheeks dimpled into a grin from where he had buried his face in Lyle's shoulder. His smile dropped once he had lifted his head, his eyes focused on the man behind Lyle. Tall, muscular, and handsome. Donovan Goodreau with his brown hair slicked back and an evil smirk twisting his lips.  
"You must be Erik," Donovan spoke easily, his voice smooth and filled with an arrogance Erik hadn't heard before.  
"And...you're Donovan," Erik mumbled in response, his shoulders sagging slightly as the man's smirk grew. That was when Erik knew he would be in for a long three weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Silence cloaked the mansion, the only sound Donovan could hear being his and Lyle's gentle breathing. It was a nice house, he had to admit and a lovely looking family. Jose was clearly a very powerful father figure with a big personality and a booming laugh. Donovan took note of the way Erik and Lyle crumpled under Jose's stern stare, their shoulders sinking into their chests. Kitty seemed like a put together woman though it was obvious she was quick to annoy, just a smile from either of her sons causing her spine to tense. Erik, the youngest of the Menendez family, was...different. He was quiet and reserved though it seemed he needed to make up for being the youngest through his attitude. The thought of the seventeen-year-old made Donovan chuckle quietly as he didn't want to wake Lyle in the bed next to him.  
Early, early, early, Donovan tsked softly and sat up, his throat dry as he swallowed thickly. Down the stairs, to the right, he thought as he remembered the map of the house. Donovan stood as slow as he could, freezing at the squeak of the bedsprings. He heard a soft grumble and his head shot over to Lyle's bed, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he saw the pile of black hair still sleeping. As silent as possible, Donovan was up on his toes and scurrying out of the room, biting his lip as he shut the door behind him.  
Taking the stairs two at a time, he continued to repeat the directions in his head, gaining more confidence as he walked down the hall. Donovan's steps slowed and his brows drew close together, creasing his forehead as he listened to the soft humming echoing soothingly from the kitchen. He had just been with Lyle so it couldn't be his best friend and he could still hear the snoring of Mr and Mrs.Menendez. Meaning there was one possible answer of who could be awake so late in the night. He stood in the archway to the kitchen, his arms cockily crossed over his strong chest with a smirk as he watched Erik hum and wiggle his hips to the beat.  
"Now what on earth are you doing up at such an ungodly hour? Isn't your bedtime 9:00 so you can be up in time for your first day of eighth grade?" Donovan chuckled and tilted his head, establishing his dominance as he made his presence known. Erik gasped harshly, scrambling to catch the bottle of water he had dropped as he tried not to wake the others with the sound of it hitting the ground.  
"God, what the fuck?" Erik scoffed and ran a hand through his curls in annoyance. He cracked the cap on his water bottle and sipped lightly with a deep sigh and an eyeroll.  
"Hey now, that's not pretty language, Aaron," Donovan smirked condescendingly.  
"You know that's not my name," Erik grumbled as he started to storm out of the kitchen, being stopped by Donovan's large hand catching his bicep. Erik turned sharply on his heel, his already rosy cheeks burning red. "Let. Me. Go."  
"Now why would I do that? I'm twenty, you're seventeen. I have the upper hand," Donovan chuckled as he tightened his grip. Erik's anger was quick to fade as it was replaced with fear and he looked at Donovan's hand on his bicep with a soft whimper.  
"Donovan, please let me go..." Erik squeaked in a shaky voice, breathing heavily as he attempted to lightly tug his arm free.  
"Why-"  
"Donovan, please!" He begged in fear, tears quickly welling up in his big blue eyes as the refusal to remove the tight grip on his arm made Erik see Jose rather than Donovan. Donovan's face softened as he looked at Erik, his hold loosening slightly.  
"Woah, are you alright?" Donovan asked quietly, his brows furrowed in concern as he looked over the fear clear in Erik's features. He brought a hand up to run his fingers through his own hair though his arm only made it halfway before Erik flinched harshly and backed against the wall without a second thought. "Menendez..?"  
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," Erik choked out, covering his mouth as the tears started falling quickly down his cheeks. Donovan would have tried to comfort him but Erik had already darted up the stairs before Donovan could even think of what to do.  
He sighed softly, completely forgetting about the dryness in his throat as he made his way back up to Lyle's room, climbing in bed though he found it difficult to sleep after what he had witnessed.

Erik sat at the kitchen table the next morning, a glass of orange juice in front of him. He kept his eyes down, focusing on the way the juice seemed to sparkle when it caught the sunlight from the window in just the right way. It made him smile slightly. Sets of thundering footsteps raced down the stairs and Erik scrunched his face up at the sound, not awake enough to deal with telling said footsteps to keep it down. He was quick to look back down at his glass when Lyle and Donovan walked in, matching cocky smirks on their faces.  
"Morning, buddy," Lyle chuckled as he dropped himself in the seat to Erik's right, Donovan going to sit on his left.  
"Hello," Erik gulped, fingers tight around his glass.  
"Hey, careful. Hurt like a bitch if you break it," Lyle warned, reaching out to take the glass from Erik. "Don't need you crying so early."  
Erik blushed deep red at Lyle's words, his mouth staying shut as his eyes quickly glanced to Donovan and back. Donovan appeared to have a similar reaction as he too glanced at Erik out of the corner of his eye. There was an unspoken agreement then not to mention what had happened to anyone and the feeling sent a chill down Erik's spine. The pair could feel the sudden uncomfortable thickness between them, something neither were too fond of.  
Almost in sync, Erik and Donovan stood from their chairs and faced one another, neither looking as they proceeded to walk right into the other.  
"Shit, sorry-"  
"I'm sor-"  
"Yeah, it's fine.."  
"It's okay," they were mumbling their apologies as they began the constant left to right side step to decide who walked where. When Erik would step to his left, Donovan would step to his right and when Donovan would step to his left, Erik would step to his right. It went on for a few seconds before Donovan ultimately placed his hands gently on Erik's hips. He rubbed his thumbs over his hipbones as he moved Erik to one side, himself staying on the other. Donovan flashed him a winning smile in hopes to ease the tension though Erik was already burning bright red and scurrying away with his head down.  
"Hey..," Donovan mumbled as he followed Erik. "I'm sorry about last night."  
"No, we don't...have to do this," Erik shook his head and looked down at the wooden floors. "We can just...pretend it didn't happen and go back to me not liking you."  
"Now how could you not like me?" Donovan gave him that smirk that made Erik's heart do a double beat that he didn't understand.  
"There we go. That's why. I should go to school anyways," Erik gulped and was quick to walk away, his hand over his heart as he tried to understand what happened.


	3. Chapter 3

"So he's like...living in your house? For the next THREE weeks?" Erik's best friend, Craig Cignarelli, stressed from the passenger seat of Erik's car as he drove home. It was practically a daily thing at this point for one to constantly be at the other's house, today being Craig's day to join the Menendez family.  
"Yeah. Three weeks of Lyle and a carbon copy of Lyle. Only difference is I like Lyle," Erik scoffed and rolled his eyes, his knuckles turning white from how tightly he gripped the steering wheel at the thought of Donovan. Craig sighed heavily, feeling great sympathy for his dear friend. He reached over and patted Erik's knee comfortingly, not sure what to expect once he met this Donovan kid.  
Sixty-five degrees, what would be mild to anyone else, was cold for a kid in Calabasas, many in too warm of clothing. Erik, however, still sported a pair red shorts that covered just enough of his butt and Craig's sweatshirt. Craig was wearing it earlier that day but couldn't stand to see the younger boy shivering so much in class, he was quick to hand over the extra layer. Erik had attempted to turn down the offer many times, telling Craig he was okay, but once Craig had forced his arm through one of the fleece sleeves, he gladly accepted the rest.  
The blinker clicked with the beat of the song the pair had on the radio as they waited for all the cars to pass before turning into the driveway of the Menendez Calabasas mansion. As always, the large house stood out beautifully in the scenery, tying everything together with bright ribbon. The hum of the car engine quickly slowed to silence as Erik took out the key, climbing out of the car with Craig. Lyle and Donovan were sat talking on the couch as the pair walked in, comparing their latest body count. Craig looked over the new face, getting a basic idea of the kind of person Donovan was.  
"Again? He's here everyday," Lyle chuckled and shook his head as he noticed Craig in their house once again. "Craig, this is Donovan. Donovan, Craig Cignarelli, Erik's best friend."  
"Oh I've heard of you. Hey," Donovan smirked at the rosy cheeked boy, brown eyes scanning him up and down.  
"Hello," Craig got a quick wave in before Erik took a hold of his wrist and started the walk up to his room, not looking back at the men on the couch. "Woah, you never ignore Lyle," he smirked as he followed, slowly sliding his wrist from Erik's grip to take his hand.  
"I know. Progress, right?" Erik laughed, locking their fingers as he finished the run to his room, closing the door behind him. The second the door clicked closed, Craig's hands found Erik's hips and he was pulling him close to his body, pressing their lips firmly together.  
Erik smiled against the pair of soft lips against his own, moving them in sync with Craig. The older boy tightened his hands, rubbing his thumbs over his hipbones as they kissed. Craig had pulled him close enough for their bodies to be flat against each other, able to feel Erik's heart beating with his against his ribcage. Erik's fingers tucked into Craig's hair, tilting his head to deepen the kiss as he began nipping at his lower lip, his fingertips burning in need.  
"You always taste so good," Craig mumbled into the minuscule space between them, passing the words with the movement of his lips.  
"Better than the others?" Erik smirked cockily, giggling as his back was pressed against the wall next to the door.  
"Way better," Craig whispered and locked his fingers in Erik's belt loops to pull their hips together.  
"Good," he gulped, looking down at where their hips met.  
"So Lyle is up-" Erik gasped harshly as he heard the door open and someone start speaking, Craig jumping back in shock. Both boys stood disheveled and red faced, eyes wide in fear as they turned to look at the intruder. Donovan was clearly in just as much shock as them, having not expected to walk in on such a scene between the pair.  
"U-um...I'll see you later, Erik," Craig was quick to excuse himself, keeping his head down and hair in his face as he darted out of the house. Erik snapped out of his state of fear after a few seconds and grabbed Donovan's forearm, yanking him into the bedroom and slamming the door shut.  
"So... having fun?" Donovan smiled innocently as he looked at the clearly humiliated boy.  
"You say a word of this to anyone and I'll-...I don't know what I'll do! But it'll be bad," Erik threatened quietly, though it was hard to take him seriously with his pink face and heaving chest.  
"Oh because I just live to gossip about you kissing boys," Donovan rolled his eyes, his arms crossing over his broad chest.  
"I mean it, Donovan. You can't tell Lyle," Erik grumbled. Lyle was left completely in the dark when it came to what would happen between Erik and the boys that would go to his room and he wasn't about to find out by Donovan retelling what he had witnessed.  
"Lyle doesn't know?" Donovan tilted his head, the snakelike smirk slowly twisting his lips.  
"And he's not going to know!" Erik stressed and gripped the neck of his own sweatshirt, tugging lightly at the material.  
"Alright, alright. Whatever you say," Donovan laughed deeply and strode out of the room, leaving Erik uneasy where he stood. Erik whimpered as his nerves wracked up, unable to stop pacing his bedroom and tugging at his curls once the door was closed. What if Donovan was going to tell Lyle? What if he tried to use it as blackmail? How would Lyle react if he was told? Would Craig talk to him again? Erik's brain wouldn't rest as all these questions floated around.

It was quite late in the night when Erik felt he needed to clear his head. He didn't bother to check the time, having a guess as to around what time it was based on the quiet in the night sky, the dance between the stars being nothing but a light show. He sat himself out on the back porch, his knees pulled to his chest as he stared at the sky, wondering when everything got so scary.  
"Hey," Donovan said softly after having been standing in the back doorway, staring down at Erik. He had waited so long to make himself known as he didn't want to disturb the clear peace in the boy's body.  
"Hi," Erik mumbled back, not even turning around to give Donovan a side glance. His arms wrapped tighter around his shins, the silence of the night being broken by a soft rush of wind rustling the leaves on the trees.  
"May I join you?" He smiled weakly despite Erik facing the other way. Quiet sat between the pair for almost a minute before Erik broke it.  
"Okay," Erik whispered with a little nod, taking a deep breath as Donovan sat himself down on the chilled concrete next to him.  
"I need to start with an apology. I am so sorry I walked in. I didn't know, and I should have knocked first, so for that, I'm sorry," Donovan spoke gently, needing Erik to understand he was genuine. He had turned his head to look at the younger boy. His rosy cheeks reminded Donovan of the pink patches on the face of a Raggedy Ann doll. His usually sharp edged face seemed soft and more cherubic in the haze of the night and Donovan saw the constellations reflected in his blue eyes. All put together made him smile lightly, having never noticed such things about him so far.  
"It's okay. How were you supposed to know I was busy getting my face sucked off," Erik let out an amused breath at his words.  
"Yeah...yeah...so are you...ya know," Donovan cleared his throat, not wanting to offend Erik by asking the question.  
"Yeah," Erik whispered with a soft sigh and looked down, cutting off Donovan's perfect view of the constellations.  
"Oh, okay. I don't mind, I was just curious. And...I'm not going to tell Lyle. That's your secret that you choose whether to tell or not on your own time," he shook his head weakly, running his fingers through his hair.  
"Thank you," Erik sighed in relief, letting his head hang at the news. A crisp wind caused his body to shiver violently, his legs drawing closer.  
"Cold?" Donovan mumbled, his brows furrowed as he watched the shiver.  
"Yeah...a bit," Erik responded with a nod, rubbing at his biceps.  
"Here," Donovan smiled weakly and started taking his arms out of his sweatshirt.  
"You don't have to...you'll freeze," Erik pouted cutely, looking over at Donovan.  
"I got a sweater underneath, I'm okay," Donovan chuckled and pulled the sweatshirt off over his head, passing it to Erik. Erik hesitated a few seconds before pulling on the sweatshirt, relaxing into its warmth.  
"You smell good," Erik blushed as he held the sleeves of the sweatshirt to his face.  
"Yeah? Good," Donovan smirked and ruffled his curls. "You should head inside. Get some sleep and don't freeze."  
"Okay," Erik nodded and stood up. "Thank you, by the way," he mumbled, shuffling back inside and up to his room where he snuggled into the sweatshirt. The blue fabric, the smell and how thick it was, gave Erik this sense of security he doesn't remember ever having before. It made his stomach tickle and his legs squirm the more he thought of it. He sat on the bed, not getting to sleep for the rest of the night as the smell of Donovan took over his very being.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, Menendez!" A voice called behind him. Erik sighed heavily and closed his eyes, hesitating a few seconds before turning on his heel to face the voice. The loud say of his name got the school hallway quiet, kids slowly backing against the lockers to make way for what was to come. It was as if they all knew something he didn't with their synchronized movements.  
"Hello, Craig," Erik smiled weakly at him, hoping to see that usual loving gaze. His smile faded as he instead saw coldness, anger, superiority. This wasn't the Craig he knew. Why was he looking at Erik this way?  
"Don't you "hello, Craig" me. Don't fucking say my name," Craig growled as he walked closer, his shoulders strong and set. It made the younger boy feel small, his feet shuffling back the closer Craig got to him.  
"I...w-what happened?" Erik mumbled quietly just to Craig, briefly seeing a shred of sympathy, though it was gone as soon as it came.  
"You know what fucking happened. You fucking sissy," Craig scoffed and raised his hand. Time seemed to flow in slow motion as Erik watched that hand, that once held his, come down to meet roughly with his cheek. Erik's hands went to his assaulted face, his gasp lining up with those of the students against the lockers.  
"Craig..." Erik whimpered softly, looking at him with great sadness and betrayal written all over his face. Craig only rolled his eyes and shoved him to the brick wall.  
"Wow. Not even gonna fight back? You really are a faggot, huh?" Craig smirked, the next thing coming in contact with Erik's face being Craig's fist to his nose. Yes, the punch had hurt him greatly, though he couldn't pay much attention to the blood starting to pool from his nose as something else had sparked his interest.  
"I'm sorry...what did you just call me?" Erik furrowed his brows together, his blood boiling as the word played through his head.  
"Oh, you mean a faggot?" Craig tilted his head innocently, though the smirk remained on his lips. That was all Erik needed before he threw his first punch back, Craig stumbling from the force of it. Craig's eyes were wide as he looked at Erik in shock, though it was quick to change to anger as he charged at the curly boy.  
Fists flew, punches were thrown into faces, kicks drilled into sides. Craig had Erik on his back as he repeatedly pummelled his face in, ready to cold-cock him before Erik had finally put his hands on Craig's shoulders and shoved him off, changing so he was on top. Craig still continued to fight back, cringing at the hits he took. It was clear Erik had gotten the worse of the attack based on the dark bruising and blood coating his face. He gasped in shock as someone grabbed his shoulders, yanking him off of Craig.  
"Mr.Menendez! That is unacceptable!" The voice of their principal rang through their ears, Craig biting his lower lip to hold back his smirk.  
"But, sir, he-" Erik began though he was quick to be cut off.  
"No. I don't wanna hear it. My office. Now," the principal growled lowly.

The call came when Donovan was the only one in the Menendez mansion, Lyle having gone out with his parents. He picked up the phone and held it to his ear, placing the icy water bottle on to the countertop.  
"Hello?...I'm sorry, what?!...yes, yeah, I'm on my way," Donovan sighed heavily and ran his hand over his face before hanging up. He snatched up his car keys and drove to the high school, pulling up to the main entrance. He slammed his car door shut and walked up to where Erik stood with the principal.  
"C'mon," he grumbled and grabbed his bicep, keeping his head down as he hurried them back to the car. Erik stayed silent once he was in the passenger seat, staring out the window in shame, blood dried on his bruised skin.  
The drive home was quiet, Donovan glancing nervously over at the beaten boy whenever he could, using it as an opportunity to get the basic sense of his injuries. Erik got out of the car as soon as they pulled into the driveway, trying to get away from what he believed would be Donovan's teasing of how stupid he thought he was.  
Donovan took his wrist to slow him down, calmly walking into the house and up to the bathroom where he made the younger boy sit on the closed toilet seat.  
"What were you thinking?" Donovan asked gently, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it in the sink to start dabbing at the blood on his face. Erik flinched at the towel tapping his bruises and he screwed his face up to show his discomfort.  
"I don't know.." Erik mumbled with a soft sigh and ran his hand through his blood matted curls.  
"Clearly you weren't thinking. What the hell pushed you to attack him?" Donovan clenched his jaw.  
"I didn't attack him! He hit me first!" Erik defended himself quickly, not wanting Donovan to have another reason not to like him.  
"You don't seem like someone who would fight back though. What pushed you over the edge?" Donovan mumbled. Erik didn't say anything and instead chose to keep his head facing his lap. Donovan placed his hand under his chin so he would look up and their eyes could meet. Erik felt his cheeks going red as Donovan looked at him, his eyes darting down to his lips before quickly squeezing his eyes shut. Donovan chuckled and shook his head.  
"He called me a faggot..." he sighed softly and let his head fall back down. The word made Donovan cringe and he bit his lip, trying not to upset him more.  
"I'm sorry I caused this by walking in, kid," Donovan whispered sincerely and cupped his cheek before getting a bandage out to place over his scratched cheekbone.  
"I-it's okay," Erik stuttered and glanced back up at the older boy. Donovan stood once he was done, Erik rising with him.  
"Are you sure you're okay?" Donovan mumbled, gently placing his hands on Erik's hips. Erik whimpered softly and nodded though his eyes were glossy. "Come here," he whispered and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his waist. Erik let his arms go to Donovan's neck as Donovan rubbed his back, hiding his face in shoulder as he cried.  
"You're okay...I got you. Shh..shh.." he sighed sadly, holding him until he felt the shaking stop against him. "Get some sleep. I'll come check up on you later. Call out if you need anything, okay?" Donovan smiled and lead Erik to his room.  
"Okay," Erik mumbled and waited until the door was closed to change into a clean pair of briefs and the blue sweatshirt Donovan gave him. He stayed sitting up in his bed, staring out the window as the time passed and people came home and Donovan hadn't checked on him.

Erik hadn't been able to fall asleep as his mind was racing from the events of the day. The sun had fully set and the moon was the only light in his room, leaving trails through the windows where he could see the small dust particles floating in space. He sighed sadly and shakily, his blue eyes slowly slipping down to his thighs where he lightly traced his fingers over the light freckling on his tan skin. All he could think of was the way Craig stared at him with so much anger and such a fire in his eyes, it burned holes in Erik's face. His body was shaking, feeling he had no one to turn to. His eyes darted to the clock where it read 2:16 am.  
Erik gasped in surprise as he heard his door open, his head snapping up as he feared his father would be standing there. He let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Donovan, blushing as he looked over his shirtless body.  
"Comfy?" Donovan chuckled as he took note of his blue sweatshirt. Erik's face went darker and he nodded weakly, nervously tugging the ends of the sleeves. "It's a good color on you," he smiled and walked in, shutting the door behind him.  
"Oh. Thank you," he let his lips turn slightly upwards at the compliment.  
"You're welcome," Donovan smirked. "Can't sleep?"  
"No. I keep thinking about like...just how much I've fucked up," Erik sighed softly.  
"I'm gonna tell you a story," he mumbled and sat on the edge of the bed. Erik bit his lip and hesitated a few seconds before pulling the blankets back a bit to let Donovan under them with him. Donovan glanced down at Erik's bare legs and gulped, taking a deep shaky breath as he thought of tangling his own with them as he got under the blankets. "A-anyways...when...when I first met your older brother, dear Lyle, quite frankly I found him to be very...attractive."  
"You were crushing on Lyle?" Erik smirked weakly as he laid down, looking up at Donovan with big eyes. Donovan chuckled and laid next to him.  
"I was, yeah. Absolutely crushing on him. But as you know, Lyle is the definition of a straight man. I mean, I am as well, though he caught my eye. I remember when he found out and wouldn't talk to me for weeks. It was a rough time since he really is my best friend," Donovan explained softly.  
"He wouldn't t-talk to you?" Erik's eyes went wide in fear, thinking if he ever came out to Lyle, his brother may treat him the same.  
"He was just scared, I think. But we eventually moved on. Got over ourselves. It worked out great for us and I got my best friend back. But I don't want you to think that that means everything will work out with Craig. I also don't want you to think that that means it won't work out with him," Donovan mumbled, slowly reaching over to tuck his fingers into Erik's curls.  
"So I should just leave things be?" Erik whispered, his blue eyes causing Donovan's heart to jump.  
"For now. Just relax during your few day suspension and leave things alone," he whispered back, realizing just how close he laid to the younger boy. Donovan moved his leg out slightly to gently lock their ankles, smiling softly at Erik's little whimper. "Still struggling to sleep?" Donovan asked.  
"Not as much as earlier," Erik gulped, shaking lightly as Donovan rubbed at his scalp. Donovan chuckled and turned his head to face the ceiling, just enjoying their time together. He didn't understand how anyone could treat someone so sweet so poorly. How could this boy not make everyone's heart race the way it made Donovan's? Yes, they may have met only recently, yet lying there next to the boy he had begun to find quite adorable just felt right.  
"So exactly how close are-," Donovan began, cutting his sentence short as he turned his head back to face Erik and found the bruised boy peacefully sleeping with Donovan's fingers still in his hair and the sweatshirt over his nose to breathe his comforting scent. Donovan smiled lovingly and slowly started to stand up.  
The movement of the bed let Erik know Donovan was leaving and he whimpered sadly in his sleep, his brows furrowing and a hand blindly reaching out to grab on to Donovan's fingers. Donovan gulped nervously as he felt his hand tingling, thinking it must have just been from Erik's cold hand against his warm skin. He carefully climbed back into bed with him, his left hand going back to rub his curls while he let his right hand be held by the sleeping boy. After a few minutes of watching him sleep and closely studying his face, Donovan too found himself drifting off.

As the sun rose and the streams of light poured in in varying shades of gold, Donovan woken from his deep sleep in a room he didn't recognize too well. It was only when he felt the warmth against his chest and looked down at a sleeping head of brunette curls that he recalled what had happened the night before.  
He didn't think twice about wrapping an arm around his waist and placing his free hand on the back of his head. He stayed like that for another twenty minutes, just listening to the sound of the birds and Erik's breathing before the boy began to wake up.  
"Good morning," Donovan mumbled as he let go of him.  
"Good morning," Erik responded with a yawn in a deep, tired voice that caused Donovan to smirk.  
"You really needed a good sleep, huh?" He chuckled as he looked at his messy curls.  
"Yeah...sorry as bout falling asleep on you," Erik mumbled sleepily and lightly rolled his eyes, stretching his arms to crack his back with a moan. Donovan's breath hitched at the sound and he looked over his body quickly.  
"Don't be," Donovan smiled before leaning close to his ear. "But if you ever get into trouble like that again, I'm turning your ass cherry red with my hand," he teased and lightly smacked his butt in a joking manner. Erik squeaked in embarrassment and hid behind his sleeves, unable to believe what he seemed to have gotten himself into.


	5. Chapter 5

There's a sharp curve under his fingertips where he runs them over the prominent jaw of who he had laid on his mattress under him. He feels their cheekbones and the pointed tips that give off the look of a fine crafted statue in ancient Greek times, similar to those they carved of their most valued gods. Donovan's deep, coffee tinted eyes, like the earth after rain on a mid summer evening, trail up to find blue. Blue that reminded Donovan of the frosted sea glass he had come across on vacation some time back. Blue that looked as though it could freeze any that dare cross it's path though it made his chest warm with every passing glance. He could feel deep dimples dig into the rosiest of cheeks as their eyes met, those perfect lips he wanted to kiss spreading into a smile, one with an emotion Donovan had only seen in his sweetest of daydreams. He brought a single hand down to gently rub the tanned hip of the person under him, the feeling waking up the butterflies in his stomach. The more Donovan thought of these individual features, the more he could piece together who he was staring at. The who being none other than his best friend's younger brother, Erik.  
Just as Donovan began to lean down towards him, his eyes shot open with a soft gasp. Donovan looked around the dark room in confusion, a sad sigh leaving his lips as it was quickly set in his brain that he had dreamed the whole scenario. He turned his head to where Lyle was laid in the bed next to him, thinking of how he would react if he knew how he had been acting with his brother recently and how he began to feel. How he felt his fingertips were matches and Erik's skin was a matchbox he struck every time he touched him. Lyle's reaction to the thought of his best friend forming a crush on his little brother scared Donovan. He had already almost lost his best friend once, was he willing to risk it again?  
He slowly stood up from the bed, biting his lip at the squeak of the box spring. He eased his way out of the room and down the long hallway to the other end, his heart jumping the closer he got. Donovan shakily reached a hand out to gently grasp the doorknob, giving a little twist to hear the click and lightly push it open. It surprised him it was unlocked. He poked his head inside and gave a sigh of relief at the sight of the youngest Menendez boy sleeping in a ball of blankets though his arm stuck out. He was about to go back to his bed but stayed as he noticed Erik squirming. Donovan furrowed his eyebrows together and watched closer, worry lines beginning to form at the sound of the soft yet fearful whimpering coming from under the pile of blankets. He didn't think twice before making his way to the edge of the bed, no hesitation at all as he reached his arm down to lightly grip Erik's shoulder to gently shake him awake.  
"Hey...kid...kid, wake up," Donovan whispered as he continued shaking him, Erik finally waking up with a sharp gasp and widened blue eyes. Erik sat straight up and looked around the room, jumping in fear as he saw the outline of someone next to his bed. "Woah, woah, hey. It's just me," Donovan said as he stepped back and held his hands out.  
"Oh thank goodness it's just you," Erik whispered in relief and laid back down against his mattress, his fingers running through his sweaty curls.  
"Are you okay?" Donovan asked softly as he timidly moved closer to his bed. Erik didn't move or speak for a while, causing the older boy to worry he had crossed a line. He finally shook his head no. "Nightmare it seems like?" He whispered.  
"Yeah.." Erik mumbled quietly in what appeared to be embarrassment based on the reddening of his cheeks and avoidance of Donovan's gaze.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Donovan gave him a sweet smile.  
"It's always the same thing...there being someone in my closet who just wants to hurt me," he muttered and turned his head into the pillows.  
"Well let's see what I can do about that, yeah?" Donovan chuckled deeply and walked over to his closet. He poked his head inside and turned on the light, not surprised as there was in fact nobody in there. He flicked the light out and shut the door, making his way into Erik's bathroom where he grabbed a hand towel that he wet with cold water under the faucet, wringing out the excess. He held the cloth in his hand and went back to the bed.  
"Scoot over," Donovan mumbled, climbing into the bed with the frightened teen. "I promise you there is no one there. Just you and me alone here," he whispered with a smile and placed it over Erik's forehead.  
"Seventeen and still scared of a fucking closet. That's so lame," Erik sighed in shame.  
"It's not. We're all scared of something," Donovan said softly and gently pulled the blanket off. His brown eyes widened at the sight of his toned, almost fully nude body, the only thing covering him being a pair of white briefs and socks. "Oh wow..." he whispered breathlessly, his cheeks going pink and he looked him over.  
"Sorry," Erik gulped in embarrassment and quickly got up to hurry over to his closet, digging through to find absolutely anything to wear.  
"No, hey. It's okay. If it's what you're comfortable in, it's okay. Come on back, I'll help you cool off," Donovan smiled and held his hand out to the boy as he shied back slightly into the corner. Erik looked at Donovan's hand and bit his lip, nervously rubbing his palms against his thighs before he finally walked over and took his hand, climbing back on to the bed. "I am a bit offended you don't have my sweatshirt on though. You...you looked really cute in it. All snuggled up in the blue clearly too big for you," Donovan chuckled deeply and rubbed the cool towel over the younger's back.  
"Lost its scent...didn't smell like you anymore so it was harder to sleep in," Erik mumbled, a blush creeping up on his cheeks, his words making Donovan look down with a smile.  
"You like wearing things that smell like me?" He whispered to him as he reached around Erik to rub the washcloth over his chest, smirking at the shiver it pulled from him.  
"You smell good," Erik gulped and lightly cleared his throat, subtly leaning back closer to the man behind him.  
"You don't think you smell good then?" Donovan laughed and took a deep breath.  
"Probably like my parents' cigarettes," Erik shrugged weakly and fiddled with his fingers.  
"Yeah. But also like cinnamon...really good cologne...and weed?" Donovan furrowed his brows, Erik laughing at the last suggestion.  
"I'm surprised you picked that up," he choked through giggles and properly rested his back to Donovan's chest, snickering lightly.  
"I'm disappointed," Donovan tsked playfully and ruffled his curls before letting his arms fall around his waist from behind as he rested his chin on Erik's head. "You sleep better with the smell of me?" He mumbled gently.  
"So...so much better," Erik whispered softly, letting a small sigh leave his lips as his hands rested on Donovan's arms around him.  
"I could stay in here for tonight...ya know...hold you. S-so you can get the smell and sleep nice. All up to you, of course," Donovan said quietly in his ear with a slight nervous quiver laced in his voice.  
"I'd like that," Erik mumbled with a little smile and turned his head slightly to nuzzle into Donovan's arm. Donovan blushed deep red and laid back with him, staying behind Erik.  
"Lyle is going to your dad's job again tomorrow and since you're suspended, maybe we'll go out somewhere in the morning?" Donovan asked hopefully.  
"Okay," Erik whispered and closed his eyes, Donovan's arms around his waist being enough to put him to sleep.

Donovan woke the next morning with an unfamiliar weight holding him down. He furrowed his brows together and cracked his eyes open, glancing down at the person on his body who seemed to have cuddled up as close as he could in his sleep. Donovan smiled brightly as he remembered the night before, thinking how suddenly close him and Erik had gotten in the past few days.  
Erik dreamed of Donovan, dreamed of holding his hand as they walked through the store, of Donovan gripping his thigh as he drove. He wondered what it would be like to kiss the man, if their lips would fit together and how their tongues would move so perfectly like the trees in the wind. He adored wearing the sweatshirt Donovan had given him, the scent of his cologne making it feel as though the attractive man had been holding him close to his chest. Erik swore he could feel the drumbeat of Donovan's heart under his ear but it must've just been his dream teasing his mind as there was no way he was really feeling the thump of sixty-five beats per minute, his own naturally fast heart slowing down to match. He cuddled his face deeper into the firmness under him, unsure of what it could be. He knew his bed very well and knew it was never this stiff before. It pulled a confused whimper out of him in his sleep, causing something to wrap tight around him. Erik slowly cracked his eyes open, nervously glancing around his location. He was on someone's chest, that someone's arms around him as he was pulled up to their neck.  
"You're okay, honey. You're alright," he heard the person whisper in his ear, his cheeks going red at the little nickname. He recognized that voice as the voice that had been taking over his brain and penetrating his dreams. The smell began to hit and Erik recalled who was there with him. The same man who had asked the night before if he would like him to stay. "Oh my god, you're so beautiful...even sleeping, you're a little cutie," Donovan mumbled as he held on tighter.  
Erik's eyes widened in Donovan's neck, trying to tell himself the older man was just teasing him, that there was no way someone like Donovan could think such things of someone like him. He was just Erik after all. Just Lyle's nerdy little brother who was too quiet and too shy and too emotional and too this and that. There was no way he could ever even think to compete with Lyle whom Donovan had previously taken a liking to. Lyle was strong and confident and handsome whereas Erik was just...Erik.  
"It's morning, beautiful...gotta wake up," Donovan whispered in his ear and placed a hand gently on the back of Erik's curls, placing the softest kiss he could to the side of his head. "Morning time. You gotta get up and get ready so we can go out today," he chuckled.  
Erik slowly lifted his head from the comfort of Donovan's neck, looking at him through half-lidded eyes of sea glass, his cheek red from where it had rested on Donovan's shoulder. Donovan smiled softly at the boy, running his hands up and down Erik's bare back, letting out an amused breath as he felt him squirming.  
"Good morning, Menendez," Donovan mumbled, his lips twisting into his cocky smirk.  
"G-good morning," Erik whispered a tad bit nervously and glanced anywhere that wasn't the man's face.  
"Guessing you can't remember my name? That's okay. You'll have plenty of time to be saying it later," Donovan teased with a playful wink, his hand sliding lower down his back.  
"Excuse me?" Erik squeaked in surprise and quickly sat up, Donovan looking over his body with an impressed whistle. Erik blushed deep red and crossed his arms over his midsection as Donovan laid a light smack to his thigh.  
"What? Something wrong, kid?" Donovan chuckled smugly, putting his hands behind his head with a smirk.  
"Um...you're changing back again," Erik cleared his throat and scooted back away from Donovan.  
"Changing? Maybe you just got easier on the eyes," Donovan shrugged and bit back his smirk.  
"Easier on the...oh..." Erik mumbled and let a sad sigh slip between his teeth before he stood up, walking over to his bathroom. He felt his heart sink into his stomach and his lungs tighten as reality struck. Donovan saw his body, he saw his body and nothing but. He didn't see him as anything else. Erik wasn't a friend to Donovan, not even an acquaintance, just Lyle's younger brother who seemed to keep finding ways to embarrass himself without realizing until it was too late.  
"Erik?" Donovan furrowed his brows and sat up, wondering what he missed. He was just playing around, making the comments that usually get the girls swooning back in New Jersey. Donovan let out a heavy sigh of realization as he put the pieces together. He had only recently met the curly boy, there was no way Erik would pick up on his joking ways as easy as Lyle did. Erik wasn't Lyle. Erik doesn't know Donovan. "Erik, wait, it was a joke," he mumbled and walked over to the bathroom door.  
"Go away, Donovan," Erik said on the other side of the door, standing with his back to the wall as he faced the mirror.  
"Please, Erik. I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke, please I promise. Open the door," Donovan sighed and rested his forehead against the wooden door, gently placing his hand on it as well. "You've been so perfect to look at ever since Lyle first showed me a picture of you a few months back. You're sweet and funny and quite the cuddle bug."  
"Doesn't feel like a joke.." he mumbled sadly in the bathroom and slid down the wall.  
"If you don't open this door then I'm opening it for you," Donovan said softly and held the doorknob. Erik didn't answer, not understanding why Donovan wanted to apologize so badly. "Come on, hun..." he whispered and bit his lip, trying not to upset him even more. He just wanted to give him a hug and say he was sorry, say he didn't mean it. It scared Donovan to think he could lose his chances so early on. "Okay...I'll leave you alone," he sighed sadly and hesitated before letting go of the doorknob, taking a step back to stare at the wood before turning and walking out of the room.  
Erik immediately stood up with a little whimper, opening the bathroom door and stepping out. He rushed to the closet to put on Donovan's blue sweatshirt before going down the hall to look for the man. Donovan had gone back to Lyle's empty bedroom, sitting himself on the bed he was using with his back to the headboard. Erik made his way into the room and looked at Donovan with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.  
"C-can I sit with you?" He squeaked nervously and rocked on the balls of his feet.  
"Yeah.. sure," Donovan nodded with a small sigh. Erik shuffled over to the bed and pulled himself on, not hesitating to straddle Donovan's lap, press their bodies flush against each other and hide in his neck, his arms around his shoulders.  
"I'm sorry," Erik whimpered into his shoulder as Donovan wrapped one arm strongly around his waist, his other going to place a hand on the back of his head.  
"Sh sh sh.." Donovan whispered and held on tight. "This is wrong."  
"I know."  
"You're underage."  
"I know."  
"You're Lyle's little brother."  
"I know."  
"We just met."  
"I know."  
"This is inappropriate."  
"I know."  
"Do you care?"  
"No."  
"Good," Donovan smiled softly and ran his fingers through Erik's curls. He closed his eyes lightly and turned his head, gently nuzzling his nose into Erik's cheek. "I shouldn't have said what I said," he whispered and kissed his cheek softly.  
"It's okay," Erik smiled weakly and tilted his head slightly to bump their noses. Donovan locked eyes with him with a dreamy smile, his gaze moving down to his lips before trailing back up. "Yeah?" He giggled, his face turning pink.  
"Yeah," Donovan whispered and leaned in a bit more until he could lightly trace his lips over Erik's, stopping just before he could kiss him. "Ready to head out?" He mumbled with a small smile and pulled away, Erik whimpering slightly.  
"O-oh um...yeah," he sighed sadly and got off his lap.  
"Good things come to those who wait," Donovan winked and sat up, pulling his shoes on.  
"Are you a good thing?" He asked cutely with the slightest tilt of his head.  
"I hope so," Donovan mumbled and looked at the floor with a smile.  
"Then I'll wait," Erik whispered and pecked his cheek before hurrying down the stairs.


End file.
